doggies lighting.

lightings at chinatown

this is taken by one ah pek who says "wah very nice" so confidently pass me back the cam and walk away. both the pics were kns.

having dinner at some chinatown restuarant with mum, da jie and her bf.

because things DO happen for a reason, of that i'm sure

okay quite some time passed since my birthday. but dont really have any mood to blog about it. i'm so exhausted like just finish running a 2.4 run.
unwillingly took a half day leave today as my stomach hurts like hell. sigh. how much do u earn half a day?

okay.
my 19th birthday was pretty okay. thanks to all the people who made the effort to come. hmm.. really sweet of those who came down as east coast is one of the difficult place to travel to. lots of walking done i guess.

i make a wish this year not much different frm the past 18 yrs. except i forgot to add in "world peace" on the wishing list. too preoccupied with many many many redundant things on my mind.

well, i suddenly have this thought that have been stuck at the back of my head and now i brought it up and think about it. someone ask me is so and so my best friend? and do we still have best friends nowadays? i do envy people with close clicks, die hard buddies. many do see me as one with lots and lots and lots of friends. but how many true friends do i have? ten fingers is enough to count it all? or maybe five.

of course. one of my soul mate is yang. he is not just a boyfriend. but also my best friend.
but of all my other friends, i have doubts about friendship not because i'm no longer friends with them. is because i try so hard to find the lost chemistry that we all used to have one another. the sisterly , brotherly feeling that i yearn so much to find it again. but yet lost so much in the midst of the crowd. but i came to understand, those things are not faded, they are there. they remain there. even if' it's the same people doing the same thing, still the same wonderful feeling cannot be captured but can only be left as some part of our fond memories. is sad. because we know about it, is just that we dont talk about it but maybe all of us are just working hard to find it. but is emptiness and disappointed that falls into our hands.

i realise that actually i'm not close to my secondary classmates except for a few who became my close friends and out of this small circle, i only see yy as one of the most consistent one. and of course kel, my soul mate my best gf in sec 1 that i love her to bits. but we all have our own life, bf, never really having quality time with each other too.

i see groups of people in the class becoming best buddies and i wonder why i couldnt walk into a group like this? am i different? or just being an anti social freak.
in jc days, i still could not blend in and make no delibrate effort to fit in the class. but still easy going and cool about everything that goes on in the life of it. the soul mate found in jc days was easily dissolve into a dream and swept away by the wind and betrayal.
of cos i still found one that click with me and i love her too is qi. but yet time may pull us apart and at times i found difficult catching up and understanding her too. but friendship still stays so in the heart as i' recollect the times i bore my heart to her.

you can call anyone ur girlfriend, sister ,sweetie but is she truly one soul mate?
or just a companion that u pick from the crowd.


between being a capricorn and aquarius
i decided to be an aquarius today

AQUARIUS WOMANIf you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed.Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader, a real confident type.She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked.She likes a COOL guy who sometime act like he is ignoring her, so he has a chance to show him his own confident. She likes to guess her man's reaction, but at the same time she likes to have many men wanting her. She is a daring type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same society. She dares to fight for what she thinks belonged to her.Even though she looks confident, she is mostly feeling lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone, she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word "Love".She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guy. She loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage, her freedom has to be the same. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow.She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her , let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say "It's over" be prepare to leave, she is not testing you.She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean "small loan". Do not have secret with her, she hates it and really can piss her badly. When she is sad, be understanding. When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that.You will not get bore with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she likes to tease you. Do not let she talk alone, if you do she will leave.She has many types of jobs because she believes what a man can do, she can too. If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a "Working Woman" then you will be OK.If she mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here! Her bad temper will last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of "pay back" time. Most people might think of her as "One of a guy", but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is an honest, truthful and will never bore you. Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.

Happy birthday to me. happy birthday to me. happy birthday happy birthday. happy birthday to me!!!!!

heheheheee.e...

boring. waiting for yang to fetch me. hmm.. hope the bbq would turn out great k.

anyway i love you yang. thanks for everything. muack muackk muack

the personality defect test

Schoolyard BullyYou are 0% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.
You are the Schoolyard Bully! You focus more on feelings than rationality, and thus tend to be driven by your emotions rather than by a steering wheel, because human beings don't have those. You are probably easy to anger or annoy, for instance. You are also an extrovert who wouldn't mind having a lot of attention, although you may not always get it. Another character trait you possess is your brutality, manifested by the fact that you tend to be aggressive and do not care about the well-being of others. Also, you exhibit signs of humility, leading one to conlude that you are actually insecure, because very few people are truly humble AND brutal. Thus, like any schoolyard bully, you seek constant attention for yourself and have no issues with administering beatings because you are quite emotional and easy to upset. Not only that, but your insecurity may be a prime motivation for your brutality. As psychologists have noted, most schoolyard bullies only pick on others because they have a negative self-image. This could possibly be true of you. In short, your personality defects are your brutality, extroversion, irrationality, and your possible insecurity. Go pick on someone your own size! But not me. I'm a midget, I swear.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.


that was all yesterday feelings.
a crying pain. a sorry held so deep in my heart.
but you know this pain dont last long, shall it fade away.
i hold each day with u a precious day.
thanks for loving me so much, for puting me in the first place of your heart.
i wish i never hurt you. i wish u never hurt me back.
i wish we are happy always like we always are.
shall we cherish everyday we have together. i just wanna fall back in your arms.
nobody else knows better.
you just want me to need you let you need me.
you are my best friend.
you are my loverboy.
you are my yang.


extracted lyrics from
Tonight I Wanna Cry
~Keith Urban

I've never been the kind
To ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong
Meant never losing your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.



the words are harsh,
lets not get busted
just lay entwined here, undiscovered


certain questions never answered. happiness and fufillment are concepts. i live in ideals, wrapped in mistakes.

i shouldnt have cried like that, seriously i dont wish to be upset. i wish i could take things lightly i wish i could accept my mistakes but i cant. i repeatedly have to blame myself and sink into some kind of delirium. and at some point i stopped doing that but my fingers point at elsewhere with no sense of direction or nobody else. i am simply lost.

i dont want to hear Sorrrry any more. it just doesnt work this way at all.
Sorry is not meant for apologising for mistakes. but a selfish word used to end all this shit.
yes. i've said i'm sorry, i cried, dont worry about me. and then i have to make someone sad.
and when i'm not sorry anymore. you'll become even much much much sorrier(as if there's such a word) than me.

i'm tired. exhausted. fainting now... soon.
can i use the word "stress" ?
why do u say i change to be a better person now... and how hard am i pressing myself to be one.
maybe i dont even wanna be a better person.

lastly. all these craps i just wrote above. are jus craps.
deep in my heart now, i'm truly sorry.
dont tell me ur sorry too. is never about you in the first place.
dont love me too much, i dont wish to walk all over you in our relationship.


we had fun. we are the most kiddest bunch that enjoy our job becos we love one another. but the office getting lonelier now... one by one leaving...

hmm.. working or playing?

thomas bday, Sri's last day...
playing like nobody's business...

girl girl and me.. this is such an old pic of me and her.. but thats all i can find in this com.

god bless her

my heart ache these days and i'm worried sick all the time. worried that some angels might just come down and take her away from me. i couldnt stop praying, just hoping that she'll get well and recover soon. i cant bare another heart ache please.

my dear girl got blood clogs in her womb and the risk is so high also due to her age. rushed down yest and witness the operation and saw the uterus being taken out. my heart seems to stop everytime i see her in agony. the op is successful but i dont want take things so lightly. just hope that she'll be alright soon and i really wish to bring her to my bbq since she love the beach so much.
took leave from work today, going to fetch her later! hope the first person she wake up and see is me. wanna hug her so much.....

wearing couple tee... acting like china tourist with our fav panda tee shirt..lol

weeee love shopping!

i'm shoppping like nobody's business and i dont care! i dont care there's like only fifty bucks left in my account and yah havent even pay my phone bill... haha
i've been buying and buying and enjoying myself in new clothes. i'm a happy girl with limited cash.
but these days i seems to have bad-dressing days.lol. but still i love myself pretty much even though i gain a few kilos. but so what? lol.. i can lose it easily when he go in for his national service. i would have to starve myself due to love sick. (:


ate so much so much today hmmm...
subway yummy.. i love the cookiesss.. white choco macadamia
my fav yami yoghurt!
calburary chocolates
lays potatochips
soft drinks
curry puff
yam puff
sotong wraps
pineapples tarts
cheese cake

i dont know how much food i consume today. but it's horrible.

my two new year resolution is:
1) lose weights
2)save money hmmm for holidays

thats all. not the usual long list. this is the two most impt things that i have to do.
oh yah and i wanna learn dancing

me and love counting down to very last moment of the ending of 2005 and the beginning of 2006. alas, magical moment lol..

this year have been such a difficult year but still it reminds me tht i'm strong to pull it through. thanks to wonderful people and friends and love in my life that helped me to grow and mature and become a better person. thanks to those that walk in my life that make me so happy and cherish my life. thanks. u all are so wonderful, plz i dont have to mention names. u know it... yes i'm talking abt u sweetie (:

counting down to new year... 5,4,3,2,1

i swear jun yang look me in the eyes and wave to me..yay! (:

i got so swept away by her looks. her angelic face and barbie doll figure. my new year resolution is to lose weights. really! i;m starting it soon like after my birthday..hehe..

me and yang shopping for food at CARfouR!

shop alot today.. buy buy buy..
got 2 new bra set. new clog slippers(yang chose one), a purple top
eat my fav yumi yoghurt at suntec! shop at carfour! miss our dating life... (: now everything falling back to the right places.

steam boat at yang house. yummy.. too full le.. but he still aiming at the prawns. very fresh! yummy yummy... burp*

see how fresh we look even though we havent had much sleep at all.. lol..
is the first day of 2006 and we are going SHOPPING!!!